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Also, not knowing who you are, or why you do certain things, why you’re so cold and distant to anyone that get’s close, why you say things you don’t mean, and why you do things you know will hurt someone else.

I think I lost my empathy for anything in this world a long, long time ago.

Yet I feel things from others, I block out any emotion that I don’t feel comfortable dealing with, instead of embracing true emotion like I should, I put up this wall, that everything but hatred and anger seem to bounce off of. Maybe it was my way of survival during times in my life that were to overwhelming for any sane human to endure, things I tell to no one, not even the people I trust most. Maybe I’m stuck this way, because my soul wants to heal, my heart can’t take being shredded again. Maybe it’s my brains way of saying enough. something needs to change, I know it’s me, I don’t even know where to begin, who to ask, I know the dark side of me will fight tooth and nail to stay with me until I’m dead, or until it’s killed me. But I know my true self is better than this, better than this hate filled person I’ve become. 

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